Other people teach us who we are. Their attitudes to us are the mirror in which we learn to see ourselves…Alan Watts
I have a guru living under my roof. He’s seventeen years old, his intellectual and emotional growth forever diminished by a glitch in his chromosomes.
We use the term “special needs” for people who don’t match our developmental norms. Kristoffer definitely fits this category. He requires a lot of reassurance. He calls for frequent re-directing when he becomes stubborn and obstinate. Obvious tasks need to be spelled out in painstaking detail.
And this is why he’s my guru. He teaches me patience and tolerance on a daily basis. He affirms the worth of every human being according to God, not the hierarchical delusion of our society. Without knowing it, he requires me to live much more fully in the present than I ever have before.
Do you know that you have at least one guru already present in your life? It can be…
- A friend or lover whose habits and character traits don’t ever seem to change, no matter how many times you point them out. He or she is teaching you to desist from the insanity of trying to alter someone else’s behavior.
- An ex-spouse who continues to “play games” around issues of money, child rearing, etc. He or she is teaching you how to take the high road as a role model, to be the change you want to see.
- Children whose Meyers-Briggs types are radically different from your own, grating on your nerves and view of reality. They are teaching you tolerance and how to bridge the gap to “otherness.”
- Parents who will never “get” how they affected your life in the past, or continue to do so now. They are teaching you the liberation of forgiveness. They are helping you break generational curses.
- Acquaintances whose “fundamentalist” views are like scraping fingernails on your mental chalkboard. They are teaching you how to rid your own faith or philosophy of narrowness and rigidity.
- Fill in the name of your own guru _________________________.
In these blogs, I’ve been honest about my own recovery in working The 12 Steps. There’s a basic truth to this program: when we are angry, resentful, or fearful in ANY relationship, it’s a reflection of what WE need to change, not them. People who irritate us the most are often mirror reflections of the defects that need pruning in our own lives. It is so freeing to realize this. It allows us to move from blame to affirmation, victimhood to freedom, self-centeredness to self-awareness. It makes every day an adventure towards wholeness, love, and unity.
Sure, sometimes we need to say goodbye to people. Sometime we need to set boundaries. It does us no good to stay in relationships that perpetually tear us down.
Meanwhile, many gurus remain in our lives. I’m sure you have at least one. Will we embrace the lessons they have to teach us?
Reflections on the Journey 