Every day the headlines scream. Tariffs, deportations, inflation, layoffs, violence in Europe and the Middle East, political infighting! It’s a litany of doom and conflict, and it’s no wonder that for many people, these are fearful times.
Or maybe your unease is closer to home. A pending medical test. A legal entanglement. A relationship falling apart. Insecurity over your employment and financial status.
Here’s a question that should be central to each of our lives. As challenges arise, both near and far, how do we stay sane?
There’s a profound truth grasped by people from many walks of life, forged in their own crucibles. If their words seem repetitious, let them offset the repeated negativity that barrages us daily.
You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
It’s there at your command
– Chester Powers (from lyrics of the Youngbloods song, Get Together
May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears. — Nelson Mandela
If you want to tap into what life has to offer, let love be your primary mode of being, not fear. Fear closes us down and makes us retreat. It locks doors and limits opportunities. Love is about opening to possibilities. Seeing the world with new eyes. It widens our heart and mind. Fear incarcerates, but love liberates. — John Mark Green
There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. – John Lennon
Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed. – Zig Ziglar
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. – I John 4:18b
I’m sure you’ll agree. Fear is toxic to our souls, an acid wash on our brains, a slayer of peace and relationships. So how do we learn to gradually banish it from our lives?
Start like this. Look back over the past century and see how many times we have faced uncertainty as a nation. Similarly, in the arc of your personal life, think of the trials you’ve survived, all the turbulent rivers you crossed to stand where you are today.
Does the universe have your back? Is there a force looking out for you? Is there a higher power, a god that is protecting you in ways you can only imagine? You will answer these questions for yourself, but for what it’s worth, let me share a glimpse into my recent struggles.
In the past year, our family has weathered three deaths, two cancer diagnoses, the failing mental capacity of parents, and legal challenges that are still pending. It’s hard for me. I’ve always found it difficult to let go. I’m energetic and I can efficiently tackle any problem, so when events are out of my control, I too often let stress—then fear—invade my spirit.
When this happens, there’s a coping mechanism I use. I recall the darkest hours of my life, those times when my alcoholism led me to contemplate suicide. I think of the path my wife and I have trodden with our intellectually disabled son—the grief at his original diagnosis, then all the effort to secure the services he needs. I remember all the financial rollercoasters we’ve survived.
Yet here I am at this moment. Alive. Housed, fed, supported by the love of my family and friends. Able to pursue my advocations of writing and visual art. In touch with that Force that lives and breathes through all of us—call it what you will—and recognizing that it wants only my wholeness and freedom. Thank you, Spirit, God, Higher Power, Tao. Thank you, Mystery!
As this gratitude infuses my life, I’m determined to decrease the lag time. I don’t want to look back weeks, months, or years from now and realize that I came through this season as a more mature human being. I want to claim RIGHT NOW the truth that this too shall pass. That I am OK and will be OK. That I will evolve and grasp more of the meaning for which I was created.
Whatever you’re going through, my friends, I truly empathize. My prayer is that you won’t deepen your malaise by choosing fear rather than love. So, I close with these words from Lisa Nichols.
“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power lies.”
Krin Van Tatenhove - Words & Images 